July 17th, 2025

Something just occured to me...

When I was little, I used to build websites. I was probably 12 years old when I first got into it. Back then, there was a website called DSi Paint that had chatrooms, a painting app, and a little MMORPG demo that worked in the DSi browser, multiplayer and all. It was actually really impressive.

Anyways, eventually someone made a website where you could get extensions for DSi Paint. Here's how they worked: You scroll through a list of extensions, click one to view more info on it, then click download. It then runs the extension, some javascript posted in the url bar, and then you bookmark the page. When you ran the bookmark later, it ran the javascript code. This made it possible to do things like change the color of your name to something outside the normal selection options in the chatrooms.

So that's how it began

I started editing the bookmarks and trying to figure out how they worked. Eventually that led me to try making a website using what I learned. Being a 12 year old, I didn't make anything good. Making bad websites gets boring after a while, so I just used my meager talent for evil. My two favorite tricks were phishing people out of their chatroom accounts so I could impersonate them and start drama with their friends, the other was creating a blank website that was just an infinite loop of javascript alerts. On the DSi, you would have to restart your system, open your internet browser, and try to hit the back button fast enough that the infinite alert doesn't load. Eventually, I figured out I could combine the two, using an email form labeled username and password, and edit that "Email succesfully sent!" page to have the loop, forcing someone to have to deal with resetting their device immediately after having their account stolen.

I never did make anything good though. I kinda gave up. I tried to learn python shortly after, got a little demo made but gave up on that too in favor of trying to become an artist. That also didn't work out. But it just occured to me that I can still do those things! Of course I'm already building a website and a game, but why stop there? I might have to repurchase art supplies and spend a long time writing and making concept art before I begin, but I can still tell a story like I wanted. Maybe not in a comic book format, but like a web novel that relies heavily on illustration!

When I am sad, I like to imagine...

I ask myself a hypothetical: What if before we are born, we write our own stories? Probably not, I know. But what if? A story needs obstacles to be interesting. If I wrote my own story, maybe I would have written my own struggles because later on I will overcome them. And the more impossible it feels, the better it will feel when I finally reach my goals. Reframing my life as a story kind of helps me feel better when things are shitty. I kind of feel like this is the part of my life where I overcome everything I've been struggling with for so long. It feels like it's just time for me to do all those things I promised myself I would do when I start feeling a little better about my life.